Ḥadīth
It was narrated that Anas ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه) said:
The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by a woman who was weeping at a grave and said:
“Fear Allah and be patient.”
She replied, “Leave me alone, for you have not suffered my calamity!” And she did not recognize him.
It was said to her, “He is the Prophet (ﷺ).”
She then came to the door of the Prophet (ﷺ) and did not find any doorkeepers there. She said, “I did not recognize you.”
He (ﷺ) said:
“(True) patience is only when calamity first strikes.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari (1283) and Muslim (926).
Commentary of Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (رحمه الله)
Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (رحمه الله) said in Fath al-Bari (3/149):
Al-Qurtubi (رحمه الله) said: It appears that there was something excessive in her weeping, such as wailing and the like; hence, he told her to fear Allah.
Ibn Hajar (رحمه الله) said: This is supported by the mursal report of Yahya ibn Abi Kathir mentioned above, which states: “He heard from her something that he disliked, so he stood beside her.”
At-Teebi (رحمه الله) said: The words “Fear Allah” introduce the words “be patient.” It is as if he said to her: Fear the wrath of Allah if you do not show patience, and do not give in to impatience, so that you may attain reward.
The phrase “she did not recognize him” means that she addressed him in that manner because she did not realize that he was the Messenger of Allah.
Muslim added in his narration that she was mortified — meaning she felt deep distress and embarrassment when she realized that he was the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), out of awe and respect for him.
Meaning of the Prophet’s Words
The Prophet’s statement:
“(True) patience is only when calamity first strikes”
means that if a person is able to show patience at the very beginning — when overwhelmed by panic and grief — that is the complete and rewarded form of patience.
At-Teebi (رحمه الله) said: The Prophet (ﷺ) said this in response to her saying, “I did not recognize you.” This was a wise answer, as if he were saying: There is no need to apologize to me, for I do not become angry except for the sake of Allah; rather, reflect upon yourself.
Az-Zayn ibn al-Muneer (رحمه الله) said: The reason he responded in this manner, even after she apologized and showed obedience to what he had enjoined, was to clarify that true patience — the patience that brings reward — is that which is shown at the first strike of calamity.
This is supported by the report of Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه) mentioned above, in which she said: “I will be patient, I will be patient.”
The Four Responses to Calamity
Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (رحمه الله) said in al-Qawl al-Mufeed (2/215):
At times of calamity, people respond in four ways:
1. Anger (Ghadab)
Anger may manifest in several forms:
- In the heart — such as becoming angry with one’s Lord and being discontent with what Allah has decreed. This may even lead to disbelief. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And of the people is he who worships Allah on an edge. If he is touched by good, he is reassured by it; but if he is struck by trial, he turns on his face [to the other direction]. He has lost [this] world and the Hereafter.”
(al-Hajj 22:11)
- Verbally — such as saying, “Woe to me,” and similar expressions.
- Physically — such as slapping one’s cheeks, tearing one’s garment, pulling out one’s hair, and so on.
2. Patience (Sabr)
As the poet said:
“Patience, as its name suggests, is bitter —
but its outcome is sweeter than honey.”
A person may find calamity burdensome and dislike it, yet he restrains himself with patience and steadfastness. He dislikes what he is experiencing, but his faith prevents him from becoming discontent.
3. Acceptance (Rida)
Acceptance is a higher level than patience.
It means that ease and hardship are the same to a person in that he accepts both as coming from the will and decree of Allah. He may still feel sadness — because he is human — but he is fully content with the decree of his Lord.
Whether Allah decrees ease or difficulty, blessing or calamity, he accepts it wholeheartedly. Not because he lacks feeling, but because he recognizes it as the decree of his Lord.
This is the distinction between patience and acceptance.
4. Gratitude (Shukr)
This is the highest level.
It means that a person thanks Allah even for calamity, recognizing that:
- There are greater calamities than the one he faces.
- Worldly calamities are lighter than religious calamities.
- Punishment in this world is lighter than punishment in the Hereafter.
- The calamity may expiate sins and increase good deeds.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim — even if it were the prick of a thorn — except that Allah expiates some of his sins for it.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
A person’s faith may also increase through such trials.
End quote from Islam Q&A.
May Allah ﷻ grant us patience, strength, and resilience in the face of adversity, and guide us through times of calamity.
Aameen!
The Enduring Good Deeds 